Sunday, March 28, 2004
Mommy and Daddy
Mommy and Daddy,
I miss the way things used to be. When I went off to college I thought it was all temporary. I thought I'd be home in no time--back to the house where we all lived together as one family, where I had my room and my big bed with the comfy sheets and multitude of pillows. But as time goes by, I don't see it happening, and I wonder if it will ever happen again like the good old days.
I come home from breaks, and I'm tired. I want to sleep, but I'm too stressed or anxious to sleep full, long nights--the type when I wake up in the morning naturally, and fully refreshed. I'm so tired and overwhelmed with homework that I haven't had a decent conversation with either for you for several months, and it hurts me so much just to think about it.
Mommy and Daddy, I miss you two so much. I was home this whole week, but you were off at work, and I was here alone. I was an emotional, physical wreck for the first few days, and when I finally started to regain my strength I had to leave to the conference in Michigan. I left home to go to the conference.... I took out the time I could have spent with you too, and my sister. But neither of you were mad, neither of you were upset. You were happy for me and fully supported me.
And even when my flight gets delayed, you wait awake for me till past midnight when I land. Daddy comes pick me up from the airport, and you, Mommy, you had a nice plate of warm food waiting for me when I arrived. 12:30am, you two sit up and have dinner with me. 1am, you take all of my dirty clothes so and put them in the wash so I can go back to school with clean clothes.
1:30am, I'm done with my shower and we already said goodnight, and I'm just checking my e-mail to see what I missed for the past few days I was away, but you, Mommy, knock on my door. At first I want to roll my eyes, why are you bothering me so late at night after we said goodnight? But all you wanted was to know if I knew of a good book I could recommend you to read on your flight to Orlando. Ooh... I can tell you want to sit and talk, and spend some more time with me before I go back to school and we don't see each other for two more months.
I recommend to you Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich. You haven't heard about it, and I tell you it's about poverty in America. You smile at me and thank me. You pause for a couple moments, standing right by the entrance to my room. I pause, too, and try to smile back at you. You say goodnight and walk away. I think I gave you the impression I don't really want to talk.... and I don't... I'm tired, I'm stressed about going back to school, I just read a bad e-mail... but I do... I don't think there could be anything better in the world right now than just spending time and talking to you. I don't know if we've had a decent coversation since you drove me off to college in New York, over a thousand miles away from home, in the last week of August...
Mommy and Daddy... I miss you. I miss the home you created me for. I miss having you two just down the hall. I miss the smell of the food you used to cook, and the endless conversations we used to have about everything. I even miss my sister, your daughter, who used to be my archnemesis....
And here I am, on the verge of saying goodbye. It's almost 2:30am. I cannot go to sleep. I have to write this letter to you, which you may never read. And here I am in your house, down the hall from you... but you're sleeping, and I'm crying, because we're not apart but I miss you again already...
Your son,
Amir
I miss the way things used to be. When I went off to college I thought it was all temporary. I thought I'd be home in no time--back to the house where we all lived together as one family, where I had my room and my big bed with the comfy sheets and multitude of pillows. But as time goes by, I don't see it happening, and I wonder if it will ever happen again like the good old days.
I come home from breaks, and I'm tired. I want to sleep, but I'm too stressed or anxious to sleep full, long nights--the type when I wake up in the morning naturally, and fully refreshed. I'm so tired and overwhelmed with homework that I haven't had a decent conversation with either for you for several months, and it hurts me so much just to think about it.
Mommy and Daddy, I miss you two so much. I was home this whole week, but you were off at work, and I was here alone. I was an emotional, physical wreck for the first few days, and when I finally started to regain my strength I had to leave to the conference in Michigan. I left home to go to the conference.... I took out the time I could have spent with you too, and my sister. But neither of you were mad, neither of you were upset. You were happy for me and fully supported me.
And even when my flight gets delayed, you wait awake for me till past midnight when I land. Daddy comes pick me up from the airport, and you, Mommy, you had a nice plate of warm food waiting for me when I arrived. 12:30am, you two sit up and have dinner with me. 1am, you take all of my dirty clothes so and put them in the wash so I can go back to school with clean clothes.
1:30am, I'm done with my shower and we already said goodnight, and I'm just checking my e-mail to see what I missed for the past few days I was away, but you, Mommy, knock on my door. At first I want to roll my eyes, why are you bothering me so late at night after we said goodnight? But all you wanted was to know if I knew of a good book I could recommend you to read on your flight to Orlando. Ooh... I can tell you want to sit and talk, and spend some more time with me before I go back to school and we don't see each other for two more months.
I recommend to you Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich. You haven't heard about it, and I tell you it's about poverty in America. You smile at me and thank me. You pause for a couple moments, standing right by the entrance to my room. I pause, too, and try to smile back at you. You say goodnight and walk away. I think I gave you the impression I don't really want to talk.... and I don't... I'm tired, I'm stressed about going back to school, I just read a bad e-mail... but I do... I don't think there could be anything better in the world right now than just spending time and talking to you. I don't know if we've had a decent coversation since you drove me off to college in New York, over a thousand miles away from home, in the last week of August...
Mommy and Daddy... I miss you. I miss the home you created me for. I miss having you two just down the hall. I miss the smell of the food you used to cook, and the endless conversations we used to have about everything. I even miss my sister, your daughter, who used to be my archnemesis....
And here I am, on the verge of saying goodbye. It's almost 2:30am. I cannot go to sleep. I have to write this letter to you, which you may never read. And here I am in your house, down the hall from you... but you're sleeping, and I'm crying, because we're not apart but I miss you again already...
Your son,
Amir
