Friday, March 19, 2004
How Much Longer?
I hate it when I cry. Well, I don't know if I hate it. Sometimes it feels a lot better than being angry and confused about everything.
I'm about to go on Spring break. My flight leaves out of this hellhole tomorrow at 7:15am. For this, I will gladly wake up early.
I hate being burnt out crisp, and that's usually the situation I'm in right before school breaks--and this one is no exception.
I'm frustrated with my "national leadership position" with the Sierra Student Coalition. For someone who's supposed to be a national leader, I feel like I have no clue what I'm doing. I have almost no one to work with, and the people on top of me are not being helpful at the moment. Not responding to my e-mails, my event & campaign proposals, no word about funding. How am I supposed to run a national campaign with zip zero dineros? The thing is, I care so much about this stuff: clean energy, clean air, empowering this next generation, to speak up and make a difference. I'm just so frustrated! I feel like I'm on the verge of quitting... but quitting would almost be relinquishing this dream, or more so, this chance to make a difference... who knows, maybe even to change the US... the world?
I was checking out the headlines on Yahoo, and next thing I found myself doing was looking at a slideshow of Iraq anti-war protests. Way to make a crummy mood worse. Something about all those people coming together, unified behind a common message. Something about the police in their heavy battle gear juxtaposed against the protesters. Something about all of the messages on the posterboards, the pile of shoes in front of the white house, the people, the emotions, the intensity, the contrasts. Ugh, it's enough to get me a little depressed.
Yeah, yeah, I'll admit it, that's what tipped me over the edge, that's when a couple tears streamed down my cheeks. Nothing major... It's just so freaking aggravating to see all these people, everyone pushing and pulling in a different direction. Can't we just get along?! Can't we develop a little more tolerance and understanding towards one another?! In the meantime people are dying for goodness sake!!! All I can do is wonder how much longer this will go on, and what will it eventually come to. No, this is not a rallying cry to end the war, just one to end intolerance and hatred--they're all over...
I'm about to go on Spring break. My flight leaves out of this hellhole tomorrow at 7:15am. For this, I will gladly wake up early.
I hate being burnt out crisp, and that's usually the situation I'm in right before school breaks--and this one is no exception.
I'm frustrated with my "national leadership position" with the Sierra Student Coalition. For someone who's supposed to be a national leader, I feel like I have no clue what I'm doing. I have almost no one to work with, and the people on top of me are not being helpful at the moment. Not responding to my e-mails, my event & campaign proposals, no word about funding. How am I supposed to run a national campaign with zip zero dineros? The thing is, I care so much about this stuff: clean energy, clean air, empowering this next generation, to speak up and make a difference. I'm just so frustrated! I feel like I'm on the verge of quitting... but quitting would almost be relinquishing this dream, or more so, this chance to make a difference... who knows, maybe even to change the US... the world?
I was checking out the headlines on Yahoo, and next thing I found myself doing was looking at a slideshow of Iraq anti-war protests. Way to make a crummy mood worse. Something about all those people coming together, unified behind a common message. Something about the police in their heavy battle gear juxtaposed against the protesters. Something about all of the messages on the posterboards, the pile of shoes in front of the white house, the people, the emotions, the intensity, the contrasts. Ugh, it's enough to get me a little depressed.
Yeah, yeah, I'll admit it, that's what tipped me over the edge, that's when a couple tears streamed down my cheeks. Nothing major... It's just so freaking aggravating to see all these people, everyone pushing and pulling in a different direction. Can't we just get along?! Can't we develop a little more tolerance and understanding towards one another?! In the meantime people are dying for goodness sake!!! All I can do is wonder how much longer this will go on, and what will it eventually come to. No, this is not a rallying cry to end the war, just one to end intolerance and hatred--they're all over...
