Monday, September 20, 2004
Neon Green Showers
I want to drop out of college right now because I feel like I'm wasting my life here. I'm bored as hell with my classes, I'm frustrated with them. I understand everything, but I can't solve anything.
I want to drop out because college is over-rated. This place is a shit-hole, and I'm so sick of everything. I'm sick of the ivy league professors who are supposedly the best in their field, so they think they have earned the right to an elitest attitude. I'm sick of the students who think they're so great because now they're ivy leaguers. I'm sick of the rich snobs who got here because of their money. I'm sick of the legacy snobs who are here because their whole friggin family line can be traced to this school. I'm sick of the dumb jocks who get admitted here for being good at sports, smart at nothing, and still loose almost all of our games. I'm sick of the smokers who think they're so cool standing outside of every entrance stinking up my air (if they only knew what smoking put my family through).
I'm sick of the drunks who drink alcohol like it's water and their life depends on it. I'm sick of the hos (guys and girls) who fuck around so much you'd think they're getting paid for it. I'm sick of walking between classes and seeing bitter faces, people looking the other way, and pretending I don't exist. I'm sick of the administration that gives me an attitude everywhere I go because they're always right and I'm always wrong. I'm sick of my roommate who never leaves the room and rarely budges from the computer. I'm sick of my nasty jail cell I'm supposed to call a room. I'm sick of my nasty old dorm where shit flushes out of the toilet instead of down. I'm so sick of this place, I want to puke, barf, and vomit till all this negativity has leaves my system.
I'm sick of the damn clubs which advertise themselves as "come join us so you can do this, this, and this." When in reality, you join a club and get ignored more than anything else. Rarely do people care what you think if you're soft spoken and shy like me. The big blabber mouths, who have an opinion about everything (mind you, usually negative) and mouth off at every possible chance, are heard. For some reason they're taken seriously. TAKEN SERIOUSLY!!!
So today, when someone leafletting in the plaza shoved a piece of paper into my hand to join a club, I glanced at it briefly as I kept on walking. "Concert commission, come join us and bring your favorite bands to campus." Bull f*ing shit. Come join us so you can hear a bunch of big headed people dictate for everyone what music people like and who we should therefore bring to perform. Come join us so you can tell us who you like to listen to and be totally glossed over, like get a life, no one listens to that.
In an angry, fed-up fury, I ripped up the neon green paper into as many tiny pieces as I possibly could. It was passing time, the sidewalks were crowded with students, and I hesitated. If a policeman were around would I get in trouble? I scanned the area briefly, and in a moment of letting-go, I tossed all the tiny pieces of neon green paper into the air. They fluttered and twisted in the air and slowly fell to the ground behind me as I marched forward. Some people glance, surprised, confused. I felt cleansed. Such an awful thing, yet the highlight of my day, and it felt great.
I want to drop out because college is over-rated. This place is a shit-hole, and I'm so sick of everything. I'm sick of the ivy league professors who are supposedly the best in their field, so they think they have earned the right to an elitest attitude. I'm sick of the students who think they're so great because now they're ivy leaguers. I'm sick of the rich snobs who got here because of their money. I'm sick of the legacy snobs who are here because their whole friggin family line can be traced to this school. I'm sick of the dumb jocks who get admitted here for being good at sports, smart at nothing, and still loose almost all of our games. I'm sick of the smokers who think they're so cool standing outside of every entrance stinking up my air (if they only knew what smoking put my family through).
I'm sick of the drunks who drink alcohol like it's water and their life depends on it. I'm sick of the hos (guys and girls) who fuck around so much you'd think they're getting paid for it. I'm sick of walking between classes and seeing bitter faces, people looking the other way, and pretending I don't exist. I'm sick of the administration that gives me an attitude everywhere I go because they're always right and I'm always wrong. I'm sick of my roommate who never leaves the room and rarely budges from the computer. I'm sick of my nasty jail cell I'm supposed to call a room. I'm sick of my nasty old dorm where shit flushes out of the toilet instead of down. I'm so sick of this place, I want to puke, barf, and vomit till all this negativity has leaves my system.
I'm sick of the damn clubs which advertise themselves as "come join us so you can do this, this, and this." When in reality, you join a club and get ignored more than anything else. Rarely do people care what you think if you're soft spoken and shy like me. The big blabber mouths, who have an opinion about everything (mind you, usually negative) and mouth off at every possible chance, are heard. For some reason they're taken seriously. TAKEN SERIOUSLY!!!
So today, when someone leafletting in the plaza shoved a piece of paper into my hand to join a club, I glanced at it briefly as I kept on walking. "Concert commission, come join us and bring your favorite bands to campus." Bull f*ing shit. Come join us so you can hear a bunch of big headed people dictate for everyone what music people like and who we should therefore bring to perform. Come join us so you can tell us who you like to listen to and be totally glossed over, like get a life, no one listens to that.
In an angry, fed-up fury, I ripped up the neon green paper into as many tiny pieces as I possibly could. It was passing time, the sidewalks were crowded with students, and I hesitated. If a policeman were around would I get in trouble? I scanned the area briefly, and in a moment of letting-go, I tossed all the tiny pieces of neon green paper into the air. They fluttered and twisted in the air and slowly fell to the ground behind me as I marched forward. Some people glance, surprised, confused. I felt cleansed. Such an awful thing, yet the highlight of my day, and it felt great.
