Tuesday, August 24, 2004
A Walk Through the Past
Today was boring as hell (OK, not really, just introspective, which is what this post will be). I woke up thinking about the phone-fallout I had with my friend last night, which got me started on my day feeling crummy. I woke up around 9 a.m. because now that I live closer to campus, I can hear the chimes that go off every hour. Apparently the 9 a.m. chimes were loud, long, and annoying. I had breakfast in the cafeteria. I came back to my room. Charged my Ipod and my cell phone. Wrote (hand-wrote, that is, rare huh?) a letter to a friend. Listened to some music. Talked to my mom on the phone to make sure she had a safe flight home...
Packed with a charged Ipod and cell phone in my pocket, I left my room around noon. First I went to get an unlimited bus pass. I need one of those because I work off campus. But I feel like it's a bit of a rip off. 200 dollars?! After that, I walked from the biology lab building to North campus, where all the freshman live. I used to walk that path every Monday at 10:30 p.m. last year after my late night, 3 hour long, "pre-med" intro biology labs. It felt good to know that I won't have to be doing that walk anymore when it's dark, late, cold, and nobody else is around.
Once I got to North, I walked into the student center, and glanced at my old mailbox. I used to check it with such anticipation. Adjacent to the student center is a hill, one of the highest points on campus. I walked up the hill and stood next to a big rock on the hill. I looked out on the entire campus, and I remembered standing there at dusk last semester, a week before my finals began. I sat on that rock, watched the sunset, and spoke into a hand-held tape recorder. In that voice-log, I reflected upon the year, told myself this was the quiet before the storm (finals), and ended by telling myself that "you'll be all right, kiddo." I've listened to that entry many times since, so looking at the spot where I sat and made that entry a couple months ago was pretty cool.
After that, I continued to walk through North campus all the while listening to my favorite songs courtesy of the Ipod. Then I walked down to my college's office on main campus to pick up a free academic planner. I then ventured down to the library, where I practically lived for my last week on campus last year. I sat down in the library coffee shop, where I used to buy tons of smoothies or chai teas last year, to look at my new academic planner. Once I had enough of that, I walked down stairs, to a quiet, secluded study room in the basement. Glass windows serve as the walls for the small study room, so I stood outside and looked into the room. I looked at the desk where I sat almost 10 hours straight, daily, during the week before finals. I wouldn't leave that desk till I wrote the 25 pages worth of essays that were due in the same 24 hours I had 3 finals.
After those deep moments, I got the bug to head up North again. I walked back up to the dorm I used to live in. I miss that dorm. It's the nicest and second to newest one on campus. I wanted to walk up the same three flights of stairs like I used to every day after class, and I wanted to see my old room again. I was a bit concerned that I'd have trouble getting back in (only residents have access, you need to swipe your ID card twice to get in), but luckily, I blended into a group of freshman and got in with them. I saw my old room, where I had spent so many sleepless nights; where I was so miserable, yet so content. Lucky for Steve and Jared, who now live there.
The last thing I wanted to do was find my old resident advisor (RA). She was the best. She always smiled and said "hi" to me. She never had a problem to stay up with me at 1 a.m. and delve into a deep conversation about Cornell and why can be such hell. She got assigned to be an RA there this year again, so I scouted around for her room. She'd been transferred to the north wing of the second floor. Her door was wide open (always the welcoming one). There were tons of boxes and stuff outside of her room, and her door was decorated with lots of name tags, a NY license plate, a white board, and some other random things. Only she was missing. I sat outside of her room for a while hoping she'd show up. Some freshmen walked by and smiled at me. It was nice to see that some people in this school are still capable of smiling, but then again, they haven't been brainwashed yet. My old RA didn't show up, so I left her a message on her white board. I just hope that was really her room. I haven't heard anything back from her yet. Oh well.
I spent the past couple hours sifting through the hundreds of e-mails in my school account. Don't worry, I deleted some in the process! When I came across e-mails from close acquaintances/friends I made last semester I wrote them a quick note, "Hey I'm back, how was your summer, how are you doing..." that sort of thing. I hope some of them write me back. I'm lonely as heck and bored out of my mind. After a couple hours of walking around campus today, I can hardly say I saw one familiar face.
Packed with a charged Ipod and cell phone in my pocket, I left my room around noon. First I went to get an unlimited bus pass. I need one of those because I work off campus. But I feel like it's a bit of a rip off. 200 dollars?! After that, I walked from the biology lab building to North campus, where all the freshman live. I used to walk that path every Monday at 10:30 p.m. last year after my late night, 3 hour long, "pre-med" intro biology labs. It felt good to know that I won't have to be doing that walk anymore when it's dark, late, cold, and nobody else is around.
Once I got to North, I walked into the student center, and glanced at my old mailbox. I used to check it with such anticipation. Adjacent to the student center is a hill, one of the highest points on campus. I walked up the hill and stood next to a big rock on the hill. I looked out on the entire campus, and I remembered standing there at dusk last semester, a week before my finals began. I sat on that rock, watched the sunset, and spoke into a hand-held tape recorder. In that voice-log, I reflected upon the year, told myself this was the quiet before the storm (finals), and ended by telling myself that "you'll be all right, kiddo." I've listened to that entry many times since, so looking at the spot where I sat and made that entry a couple months ago was pretty cool.
After that, I continued to walk through North campus all the while listening to my favorite songs courtesy of the Ipod. Then I walked down to my college's office on main campus to pick up a free academic planner. I then ventured down to the library, where I practically lived for my last week on campus last year. I sat down in the library coffee shop, where I used to buy tons of smoothies or chai teas last year, to look at my new academic planner. Once I had enough of that, I walked down stairs, to a quiet, secluded study room in the basement. Glass windows serve as the walls for the small study room, so I stood outside and looked into the room. I looked at the desk where I sat almost 10 hours straight, daily, during the week before finals. I wouldn't leave that desk till I wrote the 25 pages worth of essays that were due in the same 24 hours I had 3 finals.
After those deep moments, I got the bug to head up North again. I walked back up to the dorm I used to live in. I miss that dorm. It's the nicest and second to newest one on campus. I wanted to walk up the same three flights of stairs like I used to every day after class, and I wanted to see my old room again. I was a bit concerned that I'd have trouble getting back in (only residents have access, you need to swipe your ID card twice to get in), but luckily, I blended into a group of freshman and got in with them. I saw my old room, where I had spent so many sleepless nights; where I was so miserable, yet so content. Lucky for Steve and Jared, who now live there.
The last thing I wanted to do was find my old resident advisor (RA). She was the best. She always smiled and said "hi" to me. She never had a problem to stay up with me at 1 a.m. and delve into a deep conversation about Cornell and why can be such hell. She got assigned to be an RA there this year again, so I scouted around for her room. She'd been transferred to the north wing of the second floor. Her door was wide open (always the welcoming one). There were tons of boxes and stuff outside of her room, and her door was decorated with lots of name tags, a NY license plate, a white board, and some other random things. Only she was missing. I sat outside of her room for a while hoping she'd show up. Some freshmen walked by and smiled at me. It was nice to see that some people in this school are still capable of smiling, but then again, they haven't been brainwashed yet. My old RA didn't show up, so I left her a message on her white board. I just hope that was really her room. I haven't heard anything back from her yet. Oh well.
I spent the past couple hours sifting through the hundreds of e-mails in my school account. Don't worry, I deleted some in the process! When I came across e-mails from close acquaintances/friends I made last semester I wrote them a quick note, "Hey I'm back, how was your summer, how are you doing..." that sort of thing. I hope some of them write me back. I'm lonely as heck and bored out of my mind. After a couple hours of walking around campus today, I can hardly say I saw one familiar face.
