Thursday, March 31, 2005
Back at School Blues
Admitted, I got my luggage this time around, so my transition back to school was a bit smoother than it could have been. Nevertheless, an average transition back to school isn't any good to begin with.
School greeted all of us on the first day back with a ton of rain. It rained, and rained, and good thing I had my umbrella, but I still got wet. On Monday I also got my astrophysics midterm back--not something I wanted to see so soon. I got 58%, and the mean was 75%! I don't know how that happened. Well, actually I guess I saw it coming. Eh, can you blame me anyway? It's astrophysics. I do have to rant though--I got a big zero on the last question even though I worked through everything. Unfair? I submitted a regrade. We shall see, I'm not banking on anything better than a 65%... And at a cut-throat, competitive school, being below average is bad no matter how far below...
Tuesday saw me back at work in the physics department (job #1). Wednesday led me back to work teaching (job #2). Thursday night ushered in my first 5 hour night's sleep. Tonight I completed all of my history readings for the first time before class tomorrow.
Today in my writing class, my turn arrived to sacrifice an essay to the unpredictable forces of public critique. It's not too bad in the sense that I get to sit back and let other people do the talking while I just jot down notes and try not to get too upset or offended. Everything was unraveling all right until one conspicuous girl decided it was her turn to go off.
OK, I appreciate honesty, but how do I reconcile that with wanting a little more respect? "I think your essay is really generic" she stated emphatically. "Blah, blah, blah," she rambled on telling me how unoriginal my writing is and who knows what. Dang! Then the teacher commends her for being so honest. Whatever. You got to have some nerve to denigrate someone's work like that in front of a whole class of students. I'm not asking her to be dishonest or beat around the bush. Say what you gotta say, but can you at least make some effort at being polite, or at least a little more constructive? Hmph.
More than anything, this first week back just dunked me into the hellish routine of school that makes me so miserable. Helplessly falling behind in school work despite best efforts; teachers piling on readings and assignments; feeling like a zombie on no sleep; having no time to catch up, absolutely no time to do things I like (I'm writing now on borrowed time); feeling my heart involuntarily beat faster, pumping hi-anxiety blood through my body; always rushing from place to place, always on the go... You get my flow...
So it hasn't been a week yet and I'm starting to feel the pain. I think I might be getting a bit sick. Hmmm. My body is telling me something. Understood! I got it! Give me some time, I'm plotting our escape. Be my vessel, we'll ride out these rough waters and then it'll be smooth sailing... I hope.
Ugh, I just need a year and two months. Can I hang in there?
School greeted all of us on the first day back with a ton of rain. It rained, and rained, and good thing I had my umbrella, but I still got wet. On Monday I also got my astrophysics midterm back--not something I wanted to see so soon. I got 58%, and the mean was 75%! I don't know how that happened. Well, actually I guess I saw it coming. Eh, can you blame me anyway? It's astrophysics. I do have to rant though--I got a big zero on the last question even though I worked through everything. Unfair? I submitted a regrade. We shall see, I'm not banking on anything better than a 65%... And at a cut-throat, competitive school, being below average is bad no matter how far below...
Tuesday saw me back at work in the physics department (job #1). Wednesday led me back to work teaching (job #2). Thursday night ushered in my first 5 hour night's sleep. Tonight I completed all of my history readings for the first time before class tomorrow.
Today in my writing class, my turn arrived to sacrifice an essay to the unpredictable forces of public critique. It's not too bad in the sense that I get to sit back and let other people do the talking while I just jot down notes and try not to get too upset or offended. Everything was unraveling all right until one conspicuous girl decided it was her turn to go off.
OK, I appreciate honesty, but how do I reconcile that with wanting a little more respect? "I think your essay is really generic" she stated emphatically. "Blah, blah, blah," she rambled on telling me how unoriginal my writing is and who knows what. Dang! Then the teacher commends her for being so honest. Whatever. You got to have some nerve to denigrate someone's work like that in front of a whole class of students. I'm not asking her to be dishonest or beat around the bush. Say what you gotta say, but can you at least make some effort at being polite, or at least a little more constructive? Hmph.
More than anything, this first week back just dunked me into the hellish routine of school that makes me so miserable. Helplessly falling behind in school work despite best efforts; teachers piling on readings and assignments; feeling like a zombie on no sleep; having no time to catch up, absolutely no time to do things I like (I'm writing now on borrowed time); feeling my heart involuntarily beat faster, pumping hi-anxiety blood through my body; always rushing from place to place, always on the go... You get my flow...
So it hasn't been a week yet and I'm starting to feel the pain. I think I might be getting a bit sick. Hmmm. My body is telling me something. Understood! I got it! Give me some time, I'm plotting our escape. Be my vessel, we'll ride out these rough waters and then it'll be smooth sailing... I hope.
Ugh, I just need a year and two months. Can I hang in there?
