Thursday, June 17, 2004
Reality Bites
Reality bites. Despite all my talk about empowerment and self betterment, I still have a (very) long way to go. As much as I've tried to take the moral high ground on whatever, at the end of the day, week, month, year I feel just as bad off as I have always been. I'm still the same old mope, and I can't quite discern if it's a matter of depression, burn-out or both.
I still want to lie around the house all day and do nothing but eat, sleep, and watch TV. I still stifle myself. Almost all my attempts at "honest writing" have so far been in vain. There are still things I wouldn't dare to admit and statements I want to, but wouldn't dare to make. Instead of using words to be bold and daring, I hide behind them. I wish I could make things go away or at least be better, but I'm still too much of a wimp, or too powerless, or just too depressed and burnt out to do anything really constructive.
I still want to lie around the house all day and do nothing but eat, sleep, and watch TV. I still stifle myself. Almost all my attempts at "honest writing" have so far been in vain. There are still things I wouldn't dare to admit and statements I want to, but wouldn't dare to make. Instead of using words to be bold and daring, I hide behind them. I wish I could make things go away or at least be better, but I'm still too much of a wimp, or too powerless, or just too depressed and burnt out to do anything really constructive.
