More to Life

I couldn't keep you wonderful people waiting too long. If you want a glimpse at where my life story will be continued, head on over! There's not much up yet, and I won't start posting semi-frequently until the last week of August. Nevertheless, acquaint yourself with the new place, find a cozy spot, and call your dibs on it. I hope everyone's trying to enjoy their last few weeks of summer!

August 13th marks the two-year birthday of this blog. I was completely oblivious about this until I surfed over to Sarah's blog a few weeks ago where she made mention of her blogger birthday, which made me wonder how this blog might be dated, too. Since we constantly soak in Time, moments like these of looking back can be a bit shocking: it's been that long?! Yes, time flies.

But time doesn't only zoom past us. It does something to us as its tides incessantly wash over us. So now as I take note of how two years blurred until this very moment I see how much I've grown and changed, and I understand where I still want to go.

Although I may not have known it then, I started this blog at one of the worst moments of my life. I was stressed and depressed beyond belief, I was a sleep deprived zombie that walked through life in a funk, and I was wondering how I could be so unhappy when I had so many amazing things going for me. For the sake of my sanity I wanted to know, no I needed to know, if there was more to life than this miserable paradox of unhappiness in the face of success and achievement.

Two years later, I smile back at that distraught teenager. I haven't grown enough to answer all of his questions, but I've gotten one step closer. Is there More to Life? Yes, I suppose, but I don't quite know what it is. In time, though, I have found more amidst the mundane because the mundane has stopped being mundane for me. Every day is a blessing because I grow, I learn, I see, and I understand more and more. I am becoming more at peace with myself, so now I can confidently say to that boy who so desperately needed to know how he needs to change to survive happily that he really didn't need to change much at all. With time he would understand.

Now I understand that it is time to move forward. More to Life was born out of a particular time and context in my life, and I'm happy to say that I'm at a better place now. This blog has been cathartic and therapeutic, and the comments you have left me have made many of my days, THANK YOU! I will keep these archives and revisit them, but I can't harp on problems and themes that don't characterize me as much anymore, and I can't let the past hold me back.

With this upcoming year being what I hope will be my last year at college I can clearly see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it's time to start worrying about what's awaiting me out there. I'm about to embark on a journey to a new life, the plans for which I will start sketching in this upcoming year. I'm wondering how I will be able to find my place in this society and this world once I break out of the college cocoon. I want to write more. I want to read more. There are books and essays to write, causes to champion, people to help, worlds to change and improve. There's the unwritten story of my existence in this big world to begin to determine.

These last few days I've been working hard at a new layout for a new blog. Thanks to all you faithful readers who have helped keep me afloat during tough times, and thanks to the many curious people who oriented their curious browsers my way for short parts of the journey. I'd be honored if you read on with me into the future. I'll keep you posted.

August isn't a great month for me. Since my emancipation from school in late May I've been counting down the days till I have to go back in just the opposite a prisoner counts down the days until he's released. August is the month I move back to NY and August is the month I start another semester of classes. UCK. For those of you who've been following this blog for a while, I think you know that school and I aren't on the best of terms.

So since time inevitably ticked into the month of August I've been feeling a little queasy, a little more antsy, but not altogether crushed. I've been putting up a good fight for the last two years to make this happen, so with any luck this third year will be my last year. Regardless of how luck plays out, though, I KNOW that I won't be working my ass off as much as the the last two years. Unfortunately, a broke college boy still needs to work two jobs but the whole five-six classes per semester thing is history. I'm going to bow out of college gracefully with four classes one semester and three the other. I'll be a different person with all the extra time on my hands and so much less stress hormones in my system! I admit, I'm almost a little bit excited about that.

I shouldn't get ahead of myself yet. I still need to figure out what classes I'll be taking this fall, and that's coming up fast!

In other awful August news: our garage and front yard are infested with MICE and their nasty droppings! Apparently they're what ate my sunflowers and terrorized a bunch of other living plants in our front yard. Hmph.

My brush with Hollywood in Minnesota has officially come to an end. A Prairie Home Companion is about to wrap shooting any day now, and my "role" in the movie is over. I got called back four times, and I got on set three times. After my disastrously disappointing first day, I had my doubts about returning. But with nothing better to do this summer and no good excuses, I couldn't turn down the offers for a second, third, and even a fourth try, which compensated me with plenty of excitement.

My second time back (first time on set) ushered in the excitement. That day was huge--they called in 650 extras, so we all packed the waiting room like a bunch of sardines. I happened to meet a lady who knew someone on the crew, who in turn set us up with nice numbers (you get called on set by number). Instead of simply filling another seat in the audience, we got a special role as "latecomers." As the show began and the curtains rolled up, an usher showed us to our seats. We felt so special every time they shouted, "action!" and "cut!" We were actually doing something in the scene! We did some 4 or 5 takes of that, and I would have gladly gone for 20 more. We felt like little movie stars.

My second time on set, yesterday, was even more exciting. Although I didn't get a special role, the set was full of celebrities. Sitting in our comfy audience seats, we got to see Kevin Kline, Tommy Lee Jones, Virginia Madsen, Woddy Harrelson and John C. Reilly work their movie-making magic. Harrelson and Reilly were hilarious! They joked with the audience and thanked us for volunteering our time. They even entertained us with a little spontaneous singing. Woody did a great Elvis "Heartbreak Hotel," and Reilly broke out some "Blue Bayou."

Tonight was by far the most exciting, though. We got called to stay until 4 a.m. I hesitated staying up so late, but I couldn't resist another chance at the movies. They even enticed me by saying that it'd be a fun outdoor scene with Tommy Lee Jones walking through the crowd. Neither of what they told me was true. We wrapped around 12:30 a.m. and there was no Tommy Lee Jones, but there was still wicked fun. Tonight they shot the scene where the audience enters the theatre. They were looking for "couples," so a woman I was talking to and myself volunteered. Luck had it that we got pulled to the front of the line. We were asked the play the role of a couple that's running late to meet friends we haven't seen for years. We had to run up to the entrance of the theatre and act all frazzled. Oh, it was a hilariously great time, so hilarous we actually felt like actors. I might not have had this much fun in years.

Despite my few mini-roles, I know there's still a great chance my scenes won't even make the final cut. It's OK though. I met some really light-hearted, friendly people. I saw some celebrities, and soaked in all the behind-the-scenes adrenaline of mega-cameras and a frazzled crew. I experience the magic of movie-making and made some great memories in the process. They can cut me out of the movie, but they can't take that away from me.

If you ever had the queasy sensation that some artists receive more radio airplay than others and wondered if there was some corporate connection between the big-record-label artists and what you hear on the radio, well, then you were probably on to something. Sony BMG, which promotes artists signed to Arista, Columbia, and Jive among other labels, has just been fined $10 million for bribing radio stations to increase their artists' airplay. Investigations have now been launched into other major record labels for similar illegal practices.

It's a shame that in a democratic/capitalistic society where people compete and ideally the best, by virtue of their talent and mass-appeal, rise to the top that radio stations and record labels have been conspiring for years to control what we hear for their personal benefit. The music business is tough enough to break into, these practices only further limited what we heard and probably prevented many rising artists from a fair chance at success. No wonder we hear so few artists on small, independent labels. We can only hope that these investigations and fines will level the musical playing field, and that into the future we will benefit from a broader diversity of sounds and artists on the airwaves where the best and most talented (as opposed to those signed to the biggest and "best" record labels) succeed.

Read more about it: "Sony Agrees to $10M 'Payola' Settlement" Yahoo News/AP.

I'm finally starting to enjoy the fruits of all my time spent in the garden this summer, and it's not too disappointing. After a streak of too-hot-too-handle days, our cherry tomato plant kicked into rippening overdrive, so now every few days we get a nice bowl-sized harvest. They're sweet and delicioius and soooo fresh. Mmm mmm mmm!

Hot peppers are coming along well; my dad already devoured a few. The eggplants have been flowering like mad, big beautiful white-purple flowers, so I'm eagerly awaiting a few of those to grow. The raddish harvest, on the other hand, wasn't too great. They didn't grow those round red raddish roots. Oh well, at least we got to see their small pink-white flowers. Everything else seems to be right on track, though, and I'm looking forward to what's yet to come.

My blogger buddy, Sarah, recently tagged me in an "If I Were..." post. So here are things I would do if I could be...

A librarian. I would spruce up the library a little bit. I guess this all depends on what kind of library we're talking about. There are some pretty fancy libraries, especially on college campuses, but that tends not to be true in high schools and local city-owned libraries across the country. So I'd do some fundraising (because you know there'd be no budget to begin with).

Once money's not a problem I'd liven up the place a bit. The old dusty rug with the deathly shades of gray-brown would have to go fast. In comes a nice new fluffy carpet with some color and life and a little bit of spunk. The second thing to go has to be all those nasty tables and chairs. You all know those old wooden chairs that wobble like they're going to drop you at worst, or at best are just stiff and uncomfortable. And how about those tables that look like they came straight out of the 1940s because, oh wait, they probably did and they have how many decades of engravings on them to prove it? Out with the tables and chairs. They've got to go. In there place will be some comfy armchairs and nice new tables and chairs.

I wouldn't be all too opposed to some colors on the walls. Maybe some bright orange, or sunshine yellow mixed with blue--Ikea style? I've always thought people in libraries look way too sleepy, maybe some warm colors would make the place seem more inviting?

Anyway, enough pretending to live out a non-existent dream of interior design as a librarian. Once I read this article about a person who took a job as a librarian and used all the spare time to type up a book. I think that would be a cool thing to do as a librarian.

A gardener. You had to know I'd pick this one with all my talk about gardening this summer. If I were a gardener, I'd make sure my sunflowers grow. I'd also make a bigger patch for my vegetable garden and grow more vegetables. I'd definitely figure out a way to make those darn garlics and radishes grow. I'd also plant way more herbs and spices. I would buy much less supermarket produce and cook so much more with spices and vegetables from my garden. Mmmmmmmmmm freshness!

A psychologist. Funny, I was just thinking about this last night. How often have you heard people whispering that underneath their professional and detached personas, most psychologists lead screwed-up lives themselves? Whether or not it's true, I'd try to keep the trade a little more real (and I believe that certain psychologists try to put this to practice).

I wouldn't try to perpetuate and profit from an ideology that any problem is abnormal and can be fixed with enough therapy, nor would I try to perpetuate and profit from the notion that we can find ultimate happiness and some sort of ideal life with the overpaid frequent guiding of a psychologist. I would try to make people see what's great about themselves, boost self-esteems but not inflate them. I'd encourage generosity and tolerance but not naivete.

A professor. I wouldn't be so darn stuck up. Much to my dismay I've lost a lot of my appreciation for professors over the past couple years. The people who I used to idealize as the gatekeepers to the wisdom that can solve the world's problems now seem to me much more like a grumpy, stressed out bunch who A. maintain an elite monopoly on knowledge and B. squander the tremendous opportunity to instill hope and inspiration in young minds.

OK, obviously not all professors are that bad. I've met a precious few who have defied that description and they are the ones I would emulate if I were a professor. I'd make a point to meet with each of my students at least twice a semester EVEN if I had a big lecture class of 300 kids. I wouldn't pretend I know everything about my field, and I wouldn't be pretentious just because I knew a little more than my students. I'd also try to find a different approach towards grading, or at least not base it so much on cookie-cutter tests and essays.

A world famous blogger. I'd mobilize an armada of feisty bloggers to tackle the world's problems one by one. Sure, we might not even get to 1% of them, but at least we'd try. If I were a world famous blogger, I'd blog about world poverty, human health issues, the environment, and other challenges menacing the globe and humanity in between posts about my stressed out life and my kick ass summers. I would raise money for important causes and bring attention to problematic issues. Together with my readers, we'd unleash the power of the internet to educate and to empower and use our collective strength to transform this world for the better. So what do y'all say, shall we start? :-)