Saturday, February 05, 2005
Pop Ya Collar
I'm sorry. I guess a short night's sleep and then being awake for 14 hours afterward prevent me from functioning at my best. If I were a bit more aware, I could have been a bit more discrete, or quiet, or subtle. I thought I was, sort of, but apparently I wasn't enough.
Last night I was exhausted and contemplated taking a nap before heading out to dinner. My nap plans unfurled when my charming neighbors, (yes, the nutritionist and the chemical engineer), invited me to join them for dinner. How could I turn down an offer for good company? Exhausted and hungry, I set out with them to the dining hall.
We ate, we talked, you know a pretty typically nice dinner. At some point, however, I got distracted from our pleasant dinner conversation by an animated character in the background. He sat in the table in front of us, facing me. I could see him all too clearly in the space between my neighbors' shoulders.
He looked like the stereotypical white, preppy, rich college student (which is probably in an of itself a stereotype?). His hair was light brown and looked freshly trimmed, although he seemed like the type of guy who'd always be rockin' the "freshly trimmed" look. His skin was pasty white, the kind of white that was so white it was ruddy. He looked plump and "healthy," who knows, maybe even a little athletic, or at least trying to pull off the studly athletic look. He wore a royal/baby blue polo shirt with a collar.
Nothing about the way he looked struck me that much. If that's all there was to it, he would have blended in really well with the sea of people in the dining hall. His behavior was what first caught my eye. He put on a hat in a funny way and made funny expressions to the people eating with him. His hands flew across the table and he acted out even more. Then he popped the collar of his preppy polo shirt and started dancing in his seat.
When we reached a lull in our conversations, I felt the need to apologize if they felt that I was sort of unfocused during the last conversation. I explained that there was a pretty animated dude right behind them who was kind of distracting me. The nutritionist's blue eyes opened wide and she lengthened her face in curiosity. "Oooh?" She cocked her head 90 degrees to the right but didn't see him.
Her curiosity just egged me on. I smiled back mischeviously. "No, other side," I said maybe too loud. She turned her head slowly and dramatically to look back. I don't think that helped. Then her roommate the chemical engineer, who may have been too busy thinking about organic polymers or something, egged me on even more. "Wait, what did you say? What's going on?" Eagerly, I explained, maybe a bit too loud again, the show that I had been witnessing behind their shoulders. She seemed slightly amused, but not all too impressed, so I tried again.
"Oh, and he just popped his collar a few minutes ago."
"He what?!"
"He popped his collar!!!" and I proceeded to demonstrate.
"Tahahahaha!" the engineer broke out in her typical, hysterically loud laughter.
I smiled back, and seemed content. The girls were amused and I had managed to explain the reason why I wasn't such a focused conversationalist for the past couple minutes.
Then, as my gaze fleetingly passed behind the girls' shoulders, I noticed Mr. Pop-Ya-Collar staring dead at me. His animated self stood still. His big eyes that rolled in their sockets a little too much gelled over, motionless in my direction. I froze and locked my eyes with his.
You got a problem? His lips mouthed at me silently. I noticed that his collar was down. My smile was fading fast, but I decided to reclaim it. I smiled widely and hearitly at him, and mouthed in return, No. I was hoping that if he saw me returning a friendly face that he'd realize there was no beef; it's all gravy, ya know?
I quickly looked the other way, as did he. The engineer sitting across the table from me then proceeded, "Uh oh. I think he noticed."
I smiled uneasily... "Uhh yeah.. oops." I glanced quickly over at Mr. Thang again just to make sure that he was off my case, but unfortunately I found the complete opposite to be true. He was back to his animated self, though maybe a bit more subdued his time and with his collar down. He was talking up his dinner-mates about our little exchange.
Then I saw him flamboyantly imitate me pretending to pop my collar. Then he pointed at me. Then all his possey of ten each took turns contourting their heads over the backs and shoulders of others to try to catch a glimpse of me. Now my smile faded fast. I gulped. I couldn't tell if the looks on their faces were mocking or murderous. Were they all going to try to jump me outside the dining hall or something?
Then I thought to myself: whatever, I don't have time for these games. But as I continued my dinner and conversation and then got up to get dessert, I felt like an animal in a zoo. He wouldn't stop looking at me and talking about me, and his friends couldn't take their eyes off of me. I wanted to offer them a choice of a picture or a poster. Geez, don't think that if you're gonna pop your collar and act like a FOOL in the middle of a dining hall that no one will notice! Period!
Last night I was exhausted and contemplated taking a nap before heading out to dinner. My nap plans unfurled when my charming neighbors, (yes, the nutritionist and the chemical engineer), invited me to join them for dinner. How could I turn down an offer for good company? Exhausted and hungry, I set out with them to the dining hall.
We ate, we talked, you know a pretty typically nice dinner. At some point, however, I got distracted from our pleasant dinner conversation by an animated character in the background. He sat in the table in front of us, facing me. I could see him all too clearly in the space between my neighbors' shoulders.
He looked like the stereotypical white, preppy, rich college student (which is probably in an of itself a stereotype?). His hair was light brown and looked freshly trimmed, although he seemed like the type of guy who'd always be rockin' the "freshly trimmed" look. His skin was pasty white, the kind of white that was so white it was ruddy. He looked plump and "healthy," who knows, maybe even a little athletic, or at least trying to pull off the studly athletic look. He wore a royal/baby blue polo shirt with a collar.
Nothing about the way he looked struck me that much. If that's all there was to it, he would have blended in really well with the sea of people in the dining hall. His behavior was what first caught my eye. He put on a hat in a funny way and made funny expressions to the people eating with him. His hands flew across the table and he acted out even more. Then he popped the collar of his preppy polo shirt and started dancing in his seat.
When we reached a lull in our conversations, I felt the need to apologize if they felt that I was sort of unfocused during the last conversation. I explained that there was a pretty animated dude right behind them who was kind of distracting me. The nutritionist's blue eyes opened wide and she lengthened her face in curiosity. "Oooh?" She cocked her head 90 degrees to the right but didn't see him.
Her curiosity just egged me on. I smiled back mischeviously. "No, other side," I said maybe too loud. She turned her head slowly and dramatically to look back. I don't think that helped. Then her roommate the chemical engineer, who may have been too busy thinking about organic polymers or something, egged me on even more. "Wait, what did you say? What's going on?" Eagerly, I explained, maybe a bit too loud again, the show that I had been witnessing behind their shoulders. She seemed slightly amused, but not all too impressed, so I tried again.
"Oh, and he just popped his collar a few minutes ago."
"He what?!"
"He popped his collar!!!" and I proceeded to demonstrate.
"Tahahahaha!" the engineer broke out in her typical, hysterically loud laughter.
I smiled back, and seemed content. The girls were amused and I had managed to explain the reason why I wasn't such a focused conversationalist for the past couple minutes.
Then, as my gaze fleetingly passed behind the girls' shoulders, I noticed Mr. Pop-Ya-Collar staring dead at me. His animated self stood still. His big eyes that rolled in their sockets a little too much gelled over, motionless in my direction. I froze and locked my eyes with his.
You got a problem? His lips mouthed at me silently. I noticed that his collar was down. My smile was fading fast, but I decided to reclaim it. I smiled widely and hearitly at him, and mouthed in return, No. I was hoping that if he saw me returning a friendly face that he'd realize there was no beef; it's all gravy, ya know?
I quickly looked the other way, as did he. The engineer sitting across the table from me then proceeded, "Uh oh. I think he noticed."
I smiled uneasily... "Uhh yeah.. oops." I glanced quickly over at Mr. Thang again just to make sure that he was off my case, but unfortunately I found the complete opposite to be true. He was back to his animated self, though maybe a bit more subdued his time and with his collar down. He was talking up his dinner-mates about our little exchange.
Then I saw him flamboyantly imitate me pretending to pop my collar. Then he pointed at me. Then all his possey of ten each took turns contourting their heads over the backs and shoulders of others to try to catch a glimpse of me. Now my smile faded fast. I gulped. I couldn't tell if the looks on their faces were mocking or murderous. Were they all going to try to jump me outside the dining hall or something?
Then I thought to myself: whatever, I don't have time for these games. But as I continued my dinner and conversation and then got up to get dessert, I felt like an animal in a zoo. He wouldn't stop looking at me and talking about me, and his friends couldn't take their eyes off of me. I wanted to offer them a choice of a picture or a poster. Geez, don't think that if you're gonna pop your collar and act like a FOOL in the middle of a dining hall that no one will notice! Period!
